


Great Constant (Is Perpetual Change)

by iconis



Category: Social Network (2010) RPF, True Blood RPF
Genre: Self-indulgent fluff, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-21
Updated: 2011-09-21
Packaged: 2017-10-23 22:34:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/255794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iconis/pseuds/iconis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is never as simple as you think you want it to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Great Constant (Is Perpetual Change)

1.

Jesse doesn't first quite know how he and Andrew end up living together. He has his apartment which, yes, is a little big for him alone now that Anna's gone and he only has two cats and he's gone so much. But then Andrew's in town, crashing on his couch for a few days because he's too tired to go home after the longest promo tour known to man. But he's there, suddenly seeming like he's there to stay and a few weeks later, they're painting the walls of the second bedroom while Andrew's things clutter up the living room and half of Jesse's bedroom. Two weeks after that everything's back in their place, and one morning four weeks later Andrew kisses him, “Good morning, goodbye, see you on Thursday,” on his way to airport. The other bedroom is left mostly unused after that.

It takes Jesse a good part of two years to get used to Andrew being a mostly everyday occurrence. It's good, it's actually absolutely, amazingly brilliant, but getting used to having Andrew, not just wishing to have him, is strangely difficult. Andrew doesn't make it easier, in his own special way – attention and gentleness and forgiveness are Andrew's default mode and while Jesse has finally stopped believing that he's too cynical to function, it's hard sometimes to watch Andrew, with his easy flirting and affection. It's not that Jesse's jealous, really, mostly it's just a pretty awkward and a slightly painful reminder of the fear that Jesse's lived with all his life; things in Jesse's life seem to always be a little fragile and he's still not quite sure if he deserves Andrew, because he's the best thing that has ever happened to Jesse.

But it gets easier, it gets better every day. They're so much more relaxed now, both of them, Andrew less frantic in his need to prove that Jesse really and truly is the love of his life; Jesse doesn't need to hide and cower nearly as much anymore, if at all. They have their unspoken rules; no matter what the time is, they wait up for each other. Sometimes it gets exhausting when they're both filming, but Jesse thinks sacrificing sleep is the least he can do for the best person he's ever met. They never talk about coming out publicly, anymore; everyone knows already and while sometimes Jesse feels guilty about not stepping up and being more open, especially with Andrew, it's Andrew who talks him off the ledge every time; Andrew would come out with Jesse any time, anywhere, but Andrew doesn't want to hurt Jesse's sense of privacy. So they hold hands when they're out and about and dance at industry parties and friends' weddings and get caught by the paparazzi making out in the strangest places, and neither of them care.

Things are good, fantastic, even – life is not always easy and simple, but it's the happiest Jesse's ever been, happiest he thinks he can ever be (and then Andrew walks in with a stray kitten that ends up staying and then it's them and three cats and Jesse's been proven wrong again) – which really, is exactly when Jesse knows it's going to go wrong any minute, all of it.

It isn't exactly the catastrophe Jesse fears it will be, but he keeps his fear from Andrew just long enough for it to cause tension and pointless arguments and Andrew sleeps in the guest bedroom for the first time in a year. Jesse doesn't sleep at all and it's still dark outside when he crawls into the spare bed with Andrew. Andrew rolls right into his arms, kisses him softly absolutely everywhere he can reach and Jesse's heart settles in his chest for the first time in weeks. Jesse feels less helpless, more grounded when Andrew reminds him that he does have a say, they can both work their hardest to make sure nothing bad happens. That's when Jesse meets Alexander.

2.

“Hey, Jesse. Jess. Ground control to Eisenberg!”

Jesse's glasses have slipped down his nose and he lifts his face from the book, pushes the glasses up the bridge of his nose. Jesse's on a break and it's a gorgeous autumn day in New York so he's slouching in a crew chair in the sun, reading his book. Alex is standing in front of him, smiling, tall and blonde and smiling and suddenly Jesse has an epiphany why he's been reading all about Scandinavian history lately. It makes Andrew's need to mock him even clearer. Jesse clears his throat.

“Oh. Hello.” Jesse takes the mug of tea; it smells delicious and he smiles at Alex who sits down in the chair next to him. “Thank you very much.”

“It's maté. You looked like you needed something to wake you up.” Alex grins.

“Thank you for that thinly veiled insult.” Jesse smiles and takes a sip of his drink. “Delicious. And I'm fairly sure it has enough sugar to fuel a flock of small children for a day.”

Alex laughs. “Hardly. Hey, how about dinner tonight? Did we make plans yet?”

Jesse rubs his free hand against his thigh. “Well, I think everyone else wants to go home and die after we wrap for today. But sure. I, uh. Well.”

Alex hums. “So do I get to meet Andrew, finally, if it's just us?” Alex's tone is friendly, if a little cautious – the almost complete lack of accent sort of unnerves Jesse. They've met a few months before, at the first reading and Alex still had a Southern twang in his speech. After three months it's gone, and Alex sounds perfectly like everyone else, except for the sudden softness of his Ls when he's tired. Jesse finds himself staring at Alex's mouth, curved into a soft smile.

“Um. Well, I think so, yes,” Jesse says, because it has to happen at some point and maybe Andrew will stop mocking him for his fascination about Sweden and will be a more understanding and attentive boyfriend (and realizes right away that's not actually possible, because this is Andrew he's talking about). “I should call him, though, just to make sure. I'll do that later. Did we, have you reserved something already?” Jesse takes a big gulp of his drink that luckily is a bit cooler now. Spitting hot tea on one's colleague isn't Jesse's idea of polite.

Alex shakes his head. “No. I'll leave that to you natives. Just text me with the address, okay, whatever you decide.” Alex stands up, leaves but not before running his big hand against the curls on Jesse's head and squeezing the back of his neck gently. “See you guys later, Jess.”

Jesse's speechless again because Alex is so confusing and messes with Jesse's senses worse than anyone since Andrew. He refuses to look at that comparison any deeper. Jesse knows he's not flirting because Alex is like this with everyone, at least the people he likes; touching and petting and sweet, without being sugary or fake. Alex is witty and sarcastic and sharp in a way Jesse truly enjoys in other people and wishes to be, himself. He genuinely likes Alex and it gives him exorbitant amounts of guilt sometimes, for reasons he doesn't want to look at more closely. They've been filming for three weeks and there's another six to go; Jesse's decided to be friendly and nice to Alex because it's clearly not his fault Jesse is an idiot; also because he tries to be nice to people, in general.

Jesse glances at his watch; it's three in the afternoon and Andrew has a day off. Jesse shivers a little when he thinks about Andrew in their bed, hair messed up and sleepy-eyed and Jesse curses himself because he could just fake having a migraine and be in bed with Andrew right now, if he was that sort of person. He digs his phone of out his pocket and calls Andrew who picks up almost right away.

“Hey, babe. How's work?”

Jesse hears rustling and he's knows he's right; Andrew's been up an hour at most, and he's still in bed, probably reading the paper and getting crumbs in the bed (Jesse wants to go vacuum the bed right away but he's decided he'll take a bed full of crumbs if there's an Andrew in it, so he shuts up and sits on his hand so he'll stop picking on the loose thread on the bottom of his shirt). “Hey. It's fine. Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah. Sucks sleeping without you, though.” Andrew's clearly smiling, Jesse can hear it and it's an automatic reaction, he has to smile back.

“Well, yeah. So, uh. Alex and I were planning to go out for dinner today. People were gonna join us but I think everyone's bailing out on us. And well, he wants, he'd like to meet you so I promised I'd ask you. I mean, if you wanna stay home, I understand, I'll be out of here by nine anyway and we can –“

“Jess, it's fine, we can go out to dinner. I'd really like to meet Alex, just to see why he's got you so flustered.”

It's clear Andrew's just teasing him, he recognizes Andrew's tone and sees his grin in his head, but the guilt that hits him is almost overpowering and his free hand comes out and yanks at the loose thread, ripping an inch of the stitching off completely. He knows it's irrational, he knows there's nothing to be guilty about but it still feels like he'd rather crawl into a spider-infested cave than go to this dinner.

“Jess?” Andrew's voice is softer, now. “Oh Jesse, stop. Okay? It's all fine. Where are we having dinner?”

Jesse coughs, tells Andrew Alex is making them decide and Andrew suggests his favorite restaurant, a couple of blocks away from their house.

“We can walk home after.” Andrew says. “I'll call them and see if I can get us a table. Is it just us three?”

Jesse confirms it and they end the call with I love yous, like always; Jesse's not sure how it got started but it sounds like Andrew's idea; Andrew who thinks it's better to say it too often than not, and Jesse, well, he definitely doesn't disagree.

3.

They wrap up a little after nine and they take the same car, Jesse texting Andrew about them running late. Andrew replies with an “ok :) <3” and Jesse has to grin. He's just as in love as he was two years ago, even more so, because he really knows Andrew now and knows how lucky he is. He glances at Alex who's grinning at him. Alex nudges his knee with his and Jesse has to grin wider.

They arrive twenty-five minutes late and Andrew's gotten them a lovely spot out of the way, a booth hidden away from the window and there are already appetizers on the table waiting for them. Andrew stands up, smiling, hair immaculate and looking gorgeous in his skinny jeans and ridiculously patterned shirt. Jesse leads them to Andrew, smiling.

“Hi.” He leans and kisses Andrew gently, resting his hands on Andrew's hips for a moment before turning to face Alex, not knowing what to do with the hand that's not holding on to Andrew, other than awkwardly wave it around. “Alex, Andrew, Andrew, Alex.”

Alex smiles, wide and friendly and holds out his hand. He and Andrew are like very strange mirror images in their clothes, Alex being ridiculously blond and tall even compared to Andrew, who's beaming at Alex. “Hi, Andrew. It's lovely to meet you.”

“Hi, Alex, you too – god, you're tall.” Andrew laughs, which is his most disarming feature Jesse's come to know, and he can see how Alex's face softens.

“Another one bites the dust,” Jesse mutters under his breath and Alex glances at him, obviously having heard him and Jesse shrugs, smiling. What's true is true.

They sit down and Alex and Andrew get to chatting right away. Andrew asks about the movie they're working on and Alex asks about Andrew's projects. They chatter away and Jesse mostly listens at first, watching them interact. They're both charming and friendly people, but in different ways. Alex is calmer, even when enthusiastic and excited; he thinks things over before saying them out loud. He's clearly a smart and thoughtful person, Jesse thinks, and then Andrew says it out loud to Alex and Jesse glad he still has some objectivity towards people, towards Alex.

Alex asks about them, how they got together and Andrew makes him tell the story and in the middle of the story he realizes something.

“So we're eating breakfast and he's getting his things – “ Jesse says.

“ – I always lose things, I'm so not a neat person – “ Andrew continues.

“So yeah, he's got his things and then he just grabs my cup of coffee and drinks half of it and leans in and kisses me and – “

“ – that was pretty much it.” Andrew's grinning at him and when Jesse leans in to kiss Andrew he sort of freezes, because seriously.

“Do you realize that we're now what couple? The couple, who, y'know – “

“ – finish each other sentences,” Alex says, hand that's covering his mouth not really hiding his smile. “It's adorable, don't worry. Mostly it just makes me think you've been together for much longer than a couple of years.”

Andrew laughs, ducking his head. Jesse looks at him and then at Alex and almost uses the word soulmate unironically before he stops himself.

The night turns out to be one of the nicest nights out in a long time. It's relaxed and fun and Jesse can almost forget about the other people around them or the noise they pretend is music in the background. Alex is engaging, funny and talkative, and Andrew seems to be thoroughly into the conversation. They eat slowly, all of them sober – which Jesse is grateful for because it's a very early morning with Andrew's five am call and Jesse's 6 a.m. one, but he doesn't regret it. There's an ease with Alex that Jesse doesn't experience too often. It makes him wish he'd be better at holding on to friendships. He has his friends, and Andrew keeps telling him he has more friends he thinks he does, but it still feels complicated, like most things in Jesse's head.

They leave the restaurant a couple of hours later, close to midnight, and say goodbye to Alex on the street. He hugs and kisses their cheeks and waves, smiling at them when he gets into a cab. Andrew slips his hand into Jesse's and they turn around the corner and start walking. Andrew holds onto Jesse's arm and leans closer.

“I so get you now,” Andrew says after a moment, laughing, and Jesse can't help but laugh with him. They walk home, mostly in a companionable silence. It's only a fifteen minute walk. They greet the security guy and take the elevator up. When they're in their apartment, Andrew presses Jesse against the front door and kisses him, gently and thoroughly. My life really doesn't suck, Jesse thinks, and then says it out loud. Andrew laughs, low and breathless, sinking to his knees and that's when Jesse's brain finally shuts off.

4.

Jesse barely sees Andrew all week and on Monday morning Andrew has to leave for Los Angeles for voice work for his latest project. Andrew packs on Sunday morning and when Jesse comes home, as early as possible, they spend the rest of the day in bed, eating pastries and drinking juice out of a carton and when Andrew has to go, so very early in the morning, Jesse's chest is still sticky with the sugary kisses Andrew has carefully placed on his neck and chest. Andrew's coming back in a less than two weeks and they've been together for long enough that Jesse doesn't get that desperate, embarrassing feeling of “please oh please come back to me” anymore. But he still kisses Andrew almost roughly before he goes, hard enough to make Andrew to feel it for the next few hours.

Jesse works as hard as he can when Andrew's away. He has so much excess nervous energy he can't direct anywhere when Andrew is away that he asks for as much work as he can fit in on his schedule and ends up exhausted by Friday. He and Alex are doing the last scene of the night and Jesse fumbles his lines sixteen times before Steven sends them home. Alex smiles at Jesse, wrapping his arm around Jesses's shoulders, squeezing gently.

“Let it go. We all have bad days and we're ahead of schedule thanks your manic working, okay? You're beating yourself up for nothing,” Alex says quietly, leading them towards the trailer they share. “Okay?”

Jesse rubs the pad of his thumb against his forefinger repeatedly, suddenly feeling more anxious than in months. He knows it would probably pass, would he still be working, but there are days when it just doesn't work.

“Can you. I mean, could we, can we go have dinner somewhere or something?” Jesse asks. “It's. I can't sleep yet and Andrew's still in LA.”

Alex smiles, squeezes his shoulders before letting him go. “Let's go get changed. I know just the spot.”

Jesse calls Andrew from the car and Andrew talks to him about his day and asks about the cats and Jesse tells him where he is and what he's done and things feel instantly better. Not good, but better. Andrew's about to go out for dinner with Justin so they promise to call each other later.

Alex takes him to a tiny hole in the wall; it's late but the restaurant is still crowded. Alex finds them a small table tucked in the corner. Alex sits him down and sits next to him and starts ordering. After a little while the small table is full of food. Alex fills a plate and pushes it towards Jesse.

“South African food. All vegetarian. Eat, it's delicious.” Alex smiles and gets his own plate. Jesse tastes everything carefully, trying out textures and tastes. Alex makes all the decisions for him and every time he's too deep in his thoughts, Alex pulls him out of the pit by telling him all the stories about filming in South Africa, about his brothers, his best friends back in Stockholm. By the time they're out of the restaurant and looking for a cab, Jesse's so grateful he could cry. He glances at his phone; it's past two in the morning and he has a late call. Jesse turns to Alex who's waving down a cab.

“Spend the night at our place?” Jesse blurts out and Alex's face closes off when he stares at him. Jesse blinks and keeps looking at Alex and then reality hits and Jesse curses. “In the spare bedroom! Christ, I wouldn't. It's. Andrew's not home, you know this, it's just. You can get to set faster and I. The cats – I have no idea what I'm saying any more. I'd like you to sleep in our guest room while I sleep in our bed. Separate bed in a separate, locked off room – seriously. Stop laughing – I take it back, never mind – ”

Alex slaps a hand on Jesse's mouth, laughing. “Thank you but I have to go back my place, I have a meeting in the morning. You're quite welcome to sleep on the couch at mine, but I have to go home.”

Jesse's already shaking his head. “No, no, I get it, I'm not actually a basket case that needs supervision or 24-hour surveillance, honestly – “

“Never said you were, Jess. Come on, let's get you home.”

Jesse goes home and he's almost in bed when Andrew calls, tipsy and cheerful. Jesse tells him about the restaurant and how Alex thought he was hitting on him and Andrew laughs at him because clearly Andrew's just with him to mock him. Jesse would never admit it to anyone, but he falls asleep listening to Andrew's voice. He sleeps calmly and without dreams.

5.

Andrew comes back two days earlier than planned and Jesse begs and pleads and gets an extra day off to have an uninterrupted day off with Andrew. He plans for them to stay in bed with the cats all day but the weather turns into something gorgeous and they end up riding their bikes to the park and having brunch in the sun. They read in silence, Andrew sometimes reading something funny or poignant out loud from his book before he gets bored and starts distracting Jesse in the most ridiculous ways. They end up in the most non-violent, bordering on obscene wrestling match in the middle of the park. Jesse pins Andrew down and kisses him breathless and they race home.

After Jesse blows Andrew on the couch and Andrew fucks him on the bed and they slowly and meticulously jerk each other off in the shower, Jesse lies in bed, half-asleep, book in one hand and petting Copernicus with the other. Andrew's feet are tangled with his while Andrew catches up on e-mails on his laptop. Jesse has phoned his mother the previous day and it's the only reason he has his phone out of his bag and on the night stand. He hears his phone vibrate and checks whether it's work related. It is, and isn't – it's a text message from Alex. It's still early in the evening. Jesse reads the text out loud the best he can – “yu should be here with Andrew best party ever jag är så jävla full interpret that you boy geniuses xo” – typos and all, and Andrew cracks up.

“You should call him,” Andrew nudges Jesse, grinning, “and put him on speaker phone.”

Jesse thinks about this for a moment and does exactly that, warning Andrew that this is his fault.

“Jesse, min älskling! How lovely of you to call me! How are you and the husband this fine evening?” Alex sounds wasted, there's a lot of noise in the background and they can barely hear Alex.

Jesse grins at Andrew. “We're fine, thank you. Andrew's laughing at you – “

“I am not. Don't listen to him, Alex!” Andrew shouts at the phone, laughing anyway.

“See, he finds your whole existence hilarious.”

“See, the feeling is quite mutual. Give him a kiss for me, will you? A big wet one.”

Jesse shakes his head, smirking at Andrew who's laughing harder but actually blushing a little. “You do realize you're on speaker phone, right?”

“I was hoping – hey, c'mon – Jesse, it's been lovely talking to you, you fantastic human being, but I think I'm gonna get thrown in jail in a moment. I'll talk to you tomorrow, I think – “

The phone goes quiet for a moment before there's a lot of noise and something that sounds vaguely like someone getting punched and Jesse and Andrew both sit up, calling Alex name. Jesse hates violence, hates it so much he breaks out in cold sweat the moment they can hear Alex saying stop several times, it goes on for a moment and then it's quiet again for a while.

“Alex? Alex, c'mon – “ Jesse's saying, almost ready to disconnect the call but then someone answers.

“Hello?” The voice is foreign and deeper than Alex's but the accent is all New York and the tone all business.

“Alex?”

“Sir, it's constable Benson from the 6th. Look, your friend's in custody right now, y'have any idea what happened?” the officers asks.

“No, I haven't got any idea – is he alright? Should. Anything we can do?”

Constable Benson sighs. “Well, I'm pretty sure the drunk tank's full at this point. If you wanna help out the PD, come get him from the station. I think no one's pressing charges at this point.”

Andrew's nodding at Jesse before the cop finishes his sentence, already getting out of bed. Jesse sighs. “Okay, sir.”

“Have a good night, sir.” The phone goes dead.

Jesse sighs. “This is so not how I planned to spend tonight.”

Andrew smiles, little worried lines around his mouth. “We can make up for it.”

Jesse gets out of bed and gets dressed, jeans and a t-shirt and a hoodie. Jesse thinks about calling Steven but figures it's none of his business to meddle in at this point. Andrew grabs the keys and Jesse checks that everything's turned off and the windows are tight, scratches Kandinsky under his chin and closes the door after him. Andrew locks the security lock and they take the stairs down.

The cab ride takes a while; the police station looks like it's straight out of a TV show but has more security than Jesse anticipates. They get signed in and go to the desk to ask for Alex. The lady behind the counter stares at them over the rim of her glasses before Jesse smiles at her nervously. She points them to a bench to wait while she deals with the papers she's holding. It takes about twenty minutes before an officer leads Alex into the waiting area. He's still clearly drunk, and his left cheek has a short cut on it, already showing some bruising. Andrew goes to Alex first, touching his shoulders and his cheek gently.

“What the hell happened, man? We got worried.”

Alex shrugs, grins a little. “Someone didn't like my face, I guess. And I might've been talking to his boyfriend before, I'm not actually sure.”

Jesse frowns. “You got in a fight with someone? Seriously?”

“I was just sitting there, talking to you on the phone and this guy just came up to me and started throwing punches. People got in the way but fuck, he was persistent. At least I didn't manage to hit him back,” Alex grins, wincing immediately. “Gotta say, for such a small guy, he got me pretty good.”

Jesse looks at Alex. He feels like hovering, stripping Alex naked to check whether the douche has hurt him anywhere else, but pushes the thought back.

“C'mon. We'll take you home,” Jesse sighs, nodding at the lady behind the counter.

“And by home we mean our guest room – ” Alex looks like he's about to protest so Andrew shushes him, quite efficiently. “You're drunk as a duck, and got yourself punched in the head. Tell me this is the moment to act like a big macho man.”

Alex laughs, swaying a little on his feet. “Okay, okay. Lead the way.”

Jesse hails a cab and they get in the back seat, Alex's long legs everywhere and it's kind of a tight fit with the Swedish giant in the rather small car. Alex leans his head back and seems to fall asleep in half a minute. Jesse glances at Andrew who's looking at Alex before looking at Jesse, not able to hide his little grin.

“What if we have to carry him upstairs?” Andrew asks and Jesse pauses for a minute.

“Let's worry about that when we get there.”

Alex, fortunately, wakes up quite easily and only stumbles a little. He breaks out into a small song under his breath while in the elevator; it sounds like a Swedish sports song but Jesse doesn't dare ask.

When they get inside, Jesse locks and bolts the door and takes his hoodie off. Alex sits on the chair in the hall and gets rid of his shoes, leaving the black boots surprisingly neatly by the door. Alex seems to be in good mood but isn't really chatty, at all, like drunk people usually are. Alex touches things, picks up books, leans down to pet the cats that come greet him – Copernicus sniffs at him carefully but Anderson rubs himself against Alex's legs until Alex picks him up. Jesse thinks enough is enough; the cats are traitors, clearly, because Anderson barely ever comes out of his hiding spots for other than food and Andrew. Traitors, all of them.

Jesse leads Alex in the guest room and it's suddenly very awkward.

“The bathroom is across the hall and our bedroom's right next door. I'm sorry, we have to leave the door ajar for both bedrooms or the cats will stage a mutiny. Apparently in some strange Catlandia somewhere a closed door is a sign serious mischief.”

Alex sets Anderson on the bed and takes of his button-up off, revealing a tight black t-shirt. Jesse looks away because it feels a little too stalker-like, otherwise.

“There are extra pillows in the closet and the mattress might be a little short for you but, y'know. You'll figure it out.”

Alex smiles, holds out a hand for Jesse. “C'mere.”

Jesse hesitantly steps closer. Alex grabs his hand and Jesse gets pulled into a very tight hug.

“Thanks, knights in shining armors. You're like the fellowship of the amazing hair.”

Andrew cracks up somewhere and Jesse chuckles. Alex is hugging him so hard he can barely feel his arms anymore, but it's okay and he says so.

“You're welcome. Get some sleep. And nudge the cats off the bed if they bother you. Okay?

Andrew walks in with a big glass of water and gives it to Alex who nods and drinks half of the glass in a few big gulps. “Thank you, honestly.”

Jesse nods. “What friends are for if not for bailing drunk friends out of jail?”

Alex grins and hugs Andrew as well, drawing a helpless squeak from him.

Jesse and Andrew retire in their bedroom. There's shuffling and noises from the other bedroom, but Jesse soon recognizes the telltale creak of the mattress springs and not long after that, they can hear Alex's quiet but steady snoring. Jesse breathes a small sign of relief, not really even knowing why.

“I can't believe I just dragged him here, Jess, seriously, I'm sorry. You seem pissed and I honestly didn't think you'd mind.” Andrew says quietly and sighs, sitting on the edge of their bed. Jesse blinks.

“I'm not pissed – no, seriously, Andrew, I'm not pissed, why would you think that?”

Andrew frowns, looking at Jesse. “You just. Seemed like you minded. Or just. A little off.”

Jesse twists his hands together, popping the joints in his fingers one by one before Andrew grabs his hand gently to stop him. “I don't mind. I was worried and seriously, getting beaten up and he seems so reckless when he's drunk, I don't know.”

Andrew smiles at him, tugging Jesse closer and kisses his knuckles softly before wrapping his arms around his legs and leaning his head against Jesse's stomach. “Well, all good now, right?”

Jesse buries his fingers in Andrew's hair, pets slowly and carefully. “Yeah, all good,” he says, voice quiet, “though we have a drunk Swede in our apartment and Anderson loves everyone in the world except me.” Andrew laughs and turns his head, nuzzling Jesse's stomach.

“Good thing is, I love you more than everyone else combined.” Andrew pauses. “Wait.”

Jesse can't help laughing, tilts Andrew's head back gently and leans down to kiss him. “Thank you, that makes me feel so much better. Really, raving reviews all around today.”

Andrew smiles against his lips. “Let's get naked and go back to bed?”

“Oh how romance isn't dead.” Jesse hums, but he's already pulling away and opening the buttons of his jeans.

6.

Jesse wakes up early, too early, to the buzzing of his phone. He goes to find it, trying to reach his pants on the chair without getting out of bed but almost ends up falling on the floor.

“Yes?”

“Mr. Eisenberg, good morning. I'm so sorry to wake you up so early, but. We're. We can't reach Mr. Skarsgård anywhere and we wanted – “

Jesse curses under his breath, stumbling out of the bedroom so he won't wake Andrew up. “He's, he's fine, he's. Look, is there – I don't think he can make it there right now, so maybe. I'm sure he'll call as soon as he can?”

There's a confused silence on the other end for a while. “Okay... So I should just tell Mr. Soderbergh he might be coming around at some point?”

Jesse cringes. “No, he'll. I'm sure he has a good reason for being late, I'm sure he'll be there as soon as possible. I think.”

The person in the other end sighs, deeply. “Okay. Thank you for your help. I'll pass your message on to Mr. Soderbergh.”

Jesse ends the call and scrubs a hand through his hair. He hates waking people up, hates interrupting something he knows to be private, like sleep, but he knocks on the guest room door a couple of times before opening the door completely and stepping in. The light is dim but Alex is most on top of the covers, naked except for his underwear and Jesse bites his lip.

“Alex? Alex. Alexander?”

Alex stirs, blinking his eyes open. “Whu.”

“Alex, it's Jesse, I don't – I'm, they called from the studio, I think they're expecting you? It's past six.”

Alex groans quietly rubs at his face. “För fan. Thanks, Jesse, seriously. I need to.” Alex sits up in bed, breathing in deeply. “I should. I need to shower, is that okay?”

Jesse's nodding, glancing away because Alex is gorgeous, even hung over and exhausted and rumpled from sleep he's gorgeous and Jesse can't deal with that so early in the morning. “Of course, sure. I'll, I'm gonna put some towels in the bathroom for you, should I, will you call your car or – “

Alex is shaking his head, getting out of the bed. “Don't worry, I'll call a car and take care of things. You should go to back to bed.”

Jesse nods, already backing out of the guest room. “I'll get the towels. You can use any of the stuff, just ask if you need anything.”

Alex gives him a grateful, tired smile. Jesse gets Alex towels and leaves them in the bathroom. He's up now so he can just as well give the cats their food so they won't wake them up for it later. He fusses around the cats, picking Copernicus up and lets him climb on his shoulder to hang out while Jesse reads the headlines of yesterday's newspaper.

Alex is quick with his shower and he comes out of the bathroom dressed and looking a little fresher, dark bruise standing out on his pale skin. Jesse holds out a glass of orange juice and Alex smiles at him. He drinks the juice and sighs, glancing at his watch.

“Thanks, Jess. Honestly. The car's coming, they promised it'd be here in fifteen, so I gotta go down.” Alex sets the glass on the table and pets Copernicus sweetly. “Next time you and Andrew have to come with me.” He grins widely, and leans down to drop a sweet kiss on Jesse's cheek, hugging him one-armed, doing his best not to disturb the cat who decides it's an invitation to play and jumps on Alex's shoulder, teetering on the edge of falling and in the process digs his claws into Alex's shoulder. Alex hisses and then laughs.

“Crazy cat, you can't go with me – Jess, help – “Alex says before he starts laughing. It takes a moment to detach the cat from Alex shoulder and put him down. Alex is still laughing and he hugs Jesse, hot breath in his hair.

“Thank you, again.” He kisses Jesse's hair, his cheek and Jesse's breathless and then Alex pulls back, moving away. “See you later, Jess, bye,” he says smiling and goes.

Jesse lets out a long slow breath when he hears the door close. “Bye.”

He rinses the cats' bowls and washes his hands and shuffles back to bed. Andrew is sprawled out, taking out 80 percent of the bed and Jesse slips in carefully, wrapping himself around Andrew who, like always, turns and presses into the warmth. Jesse pulls the duvet on them better and closes his eyes.

Andrew sighs, shifting a little, clearly not asleep. “Did he have to go?”

“Yeah, they called from the set, he had to go.”

Andrew nudges closer, slips his leg between Jesse's, his hair tickling Jesse's nose. “'k. I like 'im, Jess. He's sweet.”

Jesse smiles, because really. “Me, too. Can we go back to sleep now?” Jesse whispers, but Andrew's already asleep.

7.

Jesse goes to work that afternoon, knowing they'll be working until the small hours of the morning. He doesn't see Alex before he goes back to the trailer and Alex is asleep on the couch. Jesse tried to settle on the other couch quietly with his book, eating an apple and drinking tea. Alex shifts, glancing at his watch and then Jesse, grinning sleepily.

“Hi.”

“Hi. How are you feeling?” Jesse smiles.

“Quite fine, actually. Scandinavian heritage pays off.” Alex yawns widely, stretching. He keeps looking at Jesse, expression relaxed but unreadable. “Thanks again. For saving my ass. Now you'll get to have your name in the tabloids, too. Co-star bails actor out of jail, see the photos.” Alex sighs, but doesn't seem too concerned.

“That's okay, we'll live. There's been worse. Actor and co-star caught in an illicit embrace, one of my all-time favorites.”

Alex grunts. “Fuckers.” He pushes himself up from the couch and stretches, rising t-shirt exposing sliver of toned belly. Jesse looks into his tea mug.

“But hey,” Alex continues, “let me thank you properly. I'll cook for you, on Friday? We have the weekend off, right?”

Jesse blinks. “Cook. For us?”

Alex laughs. “Hey, gimme some credit. My dad was a great cook, he's taught me all sorts of good stuff. Or take you to dinner, since my place is not the nicest for a relaxed dinner party.”

“You could come over?” Jesse hears himself say and curses silently in his head. “We have a nice kitchen and all these things our families and friends thought we might need if we were ever home to use them, which we aren't.”

Alex smiles. “Great. Friday, after wrap.” Suddenly he's grinning. “I should probably bring wine, just not drink it.”

Jesse shakes his head. “You can but I don't think we'll drink much of it.”

Someone knocks on the door and calls for Alex, and Jesse's left alone in the trailer. He moves to the more comfortable couch and suddenly he can smell Alex's scent everywhere around him. It's the pillows, or in the blanket thrown to the side or Alex's change of clothes on the chair. It's unnerving and arousing and Jesse shudders, because it all feels unfamiliar and terrifying. He stands up and paces in the small space he has.

Jesse feels unsettled and itchy under his skin all day. He gets home at 2.30 am and Copernicus and Kandinsky greet him at the door. Andrew's already in bed, reading and Jesse feels instantly more grounded when he sees Andrew's smile.

“Hi. I'm glad you're home.”

“Hi. I'm glad to see your face.”

Andrew grins, going back to his book. Jesse puts his things neatly into place, strips and takes a fast shower. The stress seems to be washing away with the shower and he dries up quickly, anxious to get to Andrew. He throws his dirty clothes in the hamper and turns off the lights in the bath and the hall. Anderson's sitting on the kitchen counter, watching Jesse.

“Hi, cat. How was your day?” Jesse asks the cat, and Anderson licks his paw, looking away. Jesse sighs. “On a scale of one to ten, how much do you hate me, cat?”

Anderson looks around and jumps off the desk. He pads by very slowly and briefly brushes against Jesse's legs, who chuckles quietly. “Thank you, your royal highness, for this honor.”

Jesse gets two glasses of water and brings them to the bathroom, putting one on Andrew's night stand and gets on his side of the bed, climbing in bed and pressing close to Andrew, kisses his shoulder.

Andrew leans into Jesse. “You wanna read my book with me for a while?” In Andrewese, that means “I'll give you the time you need to get out whatever's bothering you.” Jesse nods. He tries to read Andrew's book, but the lines seem to merge and jump and it's making Jesse nauseous. He takes a few deeps breaths.

“I think I have a crush on Alex,” Jesse says against Andrew's shoulder. Andrew takes a deep breath and puts his book away, turning to face Jesse, hand brushing his curls gently, looking at him for a while, expression open and gentle like always.

“Okay. Do you need to do anything about it or is it enough I know?” Andrew looks at Jesse, voice low and understanding like only Andrew's can be.

“You. You really think I'm the kind of person that needs to, that wants, who'd cheat?”

Andrew pets Jesse's cheek with his thumb. “No. I'm just giving you options. You've been tense for weeks now, Jess, I just want you to be happy. He's a lovely guy, I don't blame you for your feelings.”

“You never blame me for anything, really. You don't blame me for my freak outs or my twitchiness or when I don't rinse the sink after shaving – “

Andrew smiles, quiets Jesse down with a shush. “Why the hell would I blame you for who you are, Jess? You tolerate my flakiness and my moods and I never do the dishes. We're not perfect. This is all alright, Jess.”

Jesse kisses Andrew then, a little desperate and with too much anxiety, but Andrew takes it, petting Jesse's hair slowly, curling tighter against Jesse and whispers. “One day at a time. There's no hurry anywhere and everything's okay.”

Jesse nods, heart still beating too fast but the urge to curl up into a ball is fading. He sighs. “He wants to cook us dinner on Friday. I already said yes, but we can tell him no, it'll be okay.”

Andrew nuzzles at him. “It's okay if he comes over, Jess. You're friends, first and foremost, right? It might help you in the long run.”

Jesse swallows, nodding, so exhausted that it feels like he can't move ever again. “I love you. I love you. I'd say it 600,000 times if I could.”

“I love you, too, Jess.” Andrew sounds like he's smiling. It's the last thing Jesse remembers.

8.

It's hard to say goodbye the next day, even though they'll both be home before midnight. Jesse kisses Andrew repeatedly and they end up making out in the hallway, Jesse's hand slipping into Andrew's amazingly tight jeans. They both have to change and it almost ends up in another delay and Jesse gets out of the apartment, still half-hard and lips stinging from kissing.

The day is insanely busy and Alex and Jesse have most of their scenes together. Jesse feels awkward, like always, but the sense of dread melts away during the day. So he likes Alex, but that's what happens in the beginning of all friendships, in a way; there's infatuation and curiosity and sure, Jesse hasn't wanted to lick every inch of his other potential friends' skin, but that's something he'll just have to get over. Jesse watches Alex, horsing around with Jennifer and Jesse smiles to himself, because really, one day at a time. He should always talk to Andrew first. Alex glances up and their looks meet. Jesse smiles and waves a little, undoubtedly looking like a massive dork. Alex smiles wider and winks, and really, something that corny shouldn't make his stomach flip like that.

Friday comes around fast. Jesse wraps earlier than Alex does but Alex promises to take care of groceries and other things they might need. Jesse goes home and cleans, cleans like mad, which fortunately isn't a big ordeal; sometimes having OCD is a blessing. He lies down on the couch with his book and the next thing he knows is Andrew standing next to him. He's fallen asleep, if only for a moment. Kandinsky is sleeping on his legs and Copernicus is curled around his neck like a scarf, trying to suffocate him with affection again. Andrew's grinning.

“Hello, my love, you horizontal cat incubator. Good nap.”

“Yes, it's wonderful to dream about turning into Chewbacca. Hi. Help? I don't want him to scratch my neck, people think we have enough kinky sex as it is.”

Andrew laughs and carefully picks the cat up and off Jesse's neck. Kandinsky jumps off his legs, bothered by the movement, letting Jesse give Andrew some space. Andrew stretches out on top of him, kissing him slowly. “You should tell me more about this kinky sex concept, it sounds fascinating.”

“Pervert.” Jesse kisses Andrew. “I do have ideas, though, for a later date.” Jesse rests his hands on Andrew's hips, tucking his thumb into the waistband of Andrew's jeans.

Andrew hums. “Great, I can't wait. All's fair game.” He nuzzles Jesse's ear. “What time is Alex coming?”

Jesse yawns quietly. “Around seven. What time is it anyway?”

“We have time?”

“But that depends. For what?” Jesse grins.

“Oh, you're on,” Andrew laughs, and then Jesse can't catch his breath for the next hour.

Before Alex arrives, they change and tidy up and Jesse does his best to clean up the stain they've left on the couch. He scrubs and wipes and tries to hide it with a pillow and then a shrug, then rendering Andrew useless with laughter when he plants a very confused looking cat on the spot. Kandinsky won't put up with his madness and flees the minute Jesse lets his grip loosen up.

“You could sit on it?” Andrew laughs, eyes little happy slits, hair all over the place.

“Funny, I remember you sitting on it,” Jesse says, and Andrew cracks up, blushing a little and Jesse has to go kiss him senseless, which he manages to do, just when the doorbell rings.

“I'll get it,” Andrew says and goes open the door. Jesse stands in the middle of the kitchen, waiting and hears Andrew and Alex saying hello before Andrew sends Alex to Jesse. Alex is carrying two huge bags of groceries and is wearing all black and Jesse swears he would swoon if he wasn't a grown man.

“Hi. Little help?” Alex grins and Jesse springs to take one of the bags and sets it on the counter, helping Alex with the other one and then taking his jacket. Andrew takes the jacket away from him and goes hang it up.

“You're actually starting a deli, not cooking us dinner, right?” Jesse says. “It'd take even the three of us weeks to eat all this.”

“You doubting Thomas. I brought a lot of spices and stuff like that since I didn't know what you guys already have. And obviously for whenever I'm cooking for you guys next.”

“Oh, there's a next time? Color me tickled.”

Alex laughs and hugs Jesse tightly. “What's the color of tickled, anyway?”

“Somewhere between a shade of “I'm going to punch you in the face” and a certain tone of “please don't ever stop”, I think,” Jesse grins, flushing slightly.

Alex laughs louder and hugs Jesse again. “Awesome.” He lets Jesse go, gently, reaches to squeeze Andrew's shoulder in passing before shrugging off his cardigan and putting it on the back of the chair. Andrew's grinning at Jesse. Jesse recognizes the look on Andrew's face and only barely stops himself from sticking out his tongue.

“So. I don't know about you guys but I'm starving. Show me where everything is and we might get to eat before midnight.” Alex smiles. Andrew nods and gives Alex a tour around the kitchen. Jesse unpacks all the groceries on the counter, eyebrows rising slowly.

“Are you seriously cooking for just us or are you planning to feed the whole building?”

“I figured you should have plenty of leftovers to throw away next week.” Alex shrugs, grinning. “It's what I do, anyway.”

Andrew laughs. “It's our specialty, too. And that reminds me, I forgot to throw away all the old stuff from the fridge, I should probably do that. Jess, will you get the wine?”

“Sure. Alex isn't having any, I think, he might get into a judo match with Copernicus.”

Andrew laughs and Alex has the decency to blush a little. “Sure, mock my poor wounded Scandinavian soul.”

Andrew awws, quite predictably, and tiptoes to kiss Alex's healthy cheek. “We wouldn't.”

Alex and Jesse start simultaneously with their “yes you would” and “we really would”. Andrew blinks at them and cracks up and things only get better from there.

The dinner Alex cooks is delicious and Jesse ends up eating so much he has to lie down on the couch. He groans in pain when Kandinsky jumps up and curls up on his belly. Andrew's sitting on one end of the couch, Jesse's legs on his lap and Alex is slouching in their huge chair that suddenly looks way smaller than it ever has before. Anderson is sitting in Alex's lap, stretching himself up into Alex's slow petting.

“I think I'm going to explode,” Andrew murmurs, voice slurred from sleepiness. “When's the dessert?”

Jesse laughs and groans at the same time because really, bad idea. “If you make me eat anything more I'm going to put you both into therapy for your sick feeder tendencies.” Jesse tries to gently shift Kandinsky but the cat just purrs louder and digs his claws deeper into Jesse's guts. “You're going to make me pop like a balloon, cat. Do you want that on your conscience?” Jesse says, looking down at the white ball of fur.

“Do you – does he always speak to the cats?” Alex says, stretching one long, elegant, skinny jean covered leg to nudge Andrew's foot with his. Andrew stretches out his own leg, trapping Alex's foot between his and Jesse's heart does a strange wobbly thing Jesse's never experienced before.

“Constantly. In his defense, I don't think he thinks they talk back.”

“Not out loud, anyway.” Jesse hums, eyes almost closing because it's all going to be alright.

Alex laughs, quietly and asks after a while. “Are you going to give me my foot back?”

“I wasn't planning on it.” Andrew grins, Copernicus' tail hitting his face when the cat settles down the back of the couch, furry cat butt parked right next to Andrew's head.

“Okay. I'm gonna need it back when I make you dessert.”

“What's for dessert, anyway?” Andrew opens his eyes, curious. “Because I could have some in about a half an hour.”

That's the last thing Jesse remembers when he wakes up. Andrew and Alex are in the kitchen and the cats have all piled on him in search of warmth, even Anderson who flicks his tail temperamentally when Jesse blinks at him.

Andrew glances at Jesse and smiles. “Hey. Dessert's almost ready, come and get some.”

Jesse stretches carefully, cats shifting reluctantly and gets up, yawning a little. “Sure. I'll just get my contacts out first, they're killing me.”

Jesse comes out of the bathroom wearing his glasses and pads his way to the kitchen. Alex looks at him, smile wide and warm. He reaches a hand to briefly pet Jesse's curls and Jesse wants to lean into his touch.

“Have some Eton mess. Now with store-bought merengue,” Alex grins.

“Shut up, it's delicious,” Andrew mumbles, dollop of whipped cream on the corner of his mouth. Jesse leans and kisses it off, kisses Andrew's mouth briefly, their kiss sweet and soft in taste, before getting his own bowl and spoon. The dessert is so sweet and soft and fluffy and Jesse hums happily. “This is gonna keep me up and bouncing all night,” he says and regrets it the moment he's said.

Alex's eyes widen, and he almost says something but stops himself, dirty grin on his face. “That's just too easy, Eisenberg. Seriously.”

“In my defence, I just woke up.”

“I'm sure Andrew'll make sure you'll get the right amounts of bouncing and rest,” Alex winks and Andrew raises his hands.

“I am so not getting into this,” he laughs, finishing his dessert and going straight for Jesse's. Jesse has a few more spoonfuls and gives his bowl to Andrew who grins and finishes the dessert in no time.

“Hey, you wanna stay the night? I know you have a free weekend so you might be busy but the guest room is fresh and free for you, if you want to stay?” Andrew smiles and Jesse glances at him, sipping wine from a forgotten glass that might be his.

Alex looks at them and something in his look relaxes and he smiles, almost shyly, cheeks a little flushed from the heat and wine. “That'd be nice. Really nice.”

Andrew beams. “Great! Fantastic. We can sleep in, have breakfast. Watch Saturday morning cartoons in our pyjamas!”

Jesse and Andrew clean up the kitchen and Alex feeds the cats as per Jesse's instructions, sitting cross-legged on the floor and making sure everyone gets their own. They go to bed, saying good night in the dimly lit hall, gentle hugs with no macho patting on the back, such gentle and sweet closeness it makes Andrew wriggle happily against him. Jesse kisses the corner of Alex's mouth in a brief moment of braveness and Alex sighs softly against his cheek before smiling and saying goodnight. Jesse sleeps, plastered against Andrew's back and doesn't wake up once.

9.

Jesse wakes up to the smell of pancakes. It feels like he's been sleeping forever, mouth dry and eyes gritty, but the sun is shining through the open window and there's a warmth next to him he curls up into, closing his eyes. The proportions of the warmth are wrong, though, off in so many ways that Jesse backs up and opens his eyes again. Alex is smiling at him, book resting on his chest, voice low and quiet.

“Hey. Sorry to startle you. Andrew made me come in here, he said you don't like waking up alone.”

Jesse blinks, turns onto his back. He's suddenly acutely aware of his lack of underwear or any proper sleep apparel.

“Uh, yeah, I. I freak out waking up sometime, especially at home if Andrew – “ Jesse sighs. “Did you sleep well?”

“Like a baby. I woke up to Andrew in the kitchen and I think he closed the door because Kandinsky wanted to get out and started scratching the door.” Alex grins.

“They all have really, really bad manners. The cats, not Andrew, half British and all.” Jesse pauses. “That's my book. I mean. Are you enjoying it?”

Alex nods. “Yeah. Don't worry, I bookmarked it before picking it up. You like Scandinavian history a lot, then?” Alex grins, nudges Jesse with his foot and suddenly the domesticity and intimacy is a little too much for Jesse. He sits up, rubbing his face.

“Jess?” Alex says, resting his hand on Jesse's shoulder. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I'm – it's fine, I'm fine. Just mornings, sometimes. They can be a little weird for me.”

Alex lets his hand rest on Jesse's skin, gently petting the goosebumped skin of Jesse's upper arm with his thumb. “That's okay. Lie back down, I'll give you your book back. Take it easy.”

“Keep the book, don't worry. I'll be okay.” Jesse lies back down carefully, turning on his side to face Alex and Alex slides down on the bed, turning to face Jesse too.

“You sure?”

Jesse looks at Alex, really looks at him, fighting through the embarrassment and the feeling of wanting to implode or fall into a hole or at least not exist under Alex's look, and takes him in, the hair and the eyes and the soft curves of his lips. “Yeah. I'll be fine.”

Alex smiles, reaching to pet Jesse's cheek lightly with the backs of his fingers. “Good.”

Jesse closes his eyes and there's a moment of just quiet, he can hear their breath and the noise from outside and then Andrew drops something and curses quite loudly and it startles a laugh out of them, Jesse muttering “the love of my life, so eloquent” to Alex. It doesn't take long for Andrew to carefully peek in the doorway, checking on them.

“We're up, come on in,” Jesse says, clearing his throat a little, sitting up a little. Andrew's shirt is half covered in flour but he's smiling, sits on Jesse's edge of the bed and kisses him, regardless of the mess he is or Jesse's absolutely disgusting morning breath.

“Good morning. I didn't mean to wake you up. The pancakes are ready but the damn pan was still so hot and really heavy so I accidentally dropped it in the sink.” Andrew kisses him again. “Sorry. Did you sleep well? I think you did.”

Jesse nods, pets Andrew's hair, half expecting to find a bird's nest or something in his hair, with the height it has reached again. “Yeah. Did you sleep okay?”

“Yes.” Andrew leans down to kiss Jesse, then stands up, smiling at them. “Come have breakfast, dears, before it gets cold.”

Alex stretches and gets up, reaching out a hand to Jesse who blinks. “Uh. Thank you, but if you get me out of bed right now you'll get a bit more than you bargained for, so.”

Alex wiggles his eyebrows. “I know. You think you think you were actually under the covers when I got in here?”

Jesse's eyes go wide and he thinks he hasn't blushed like this since seventh grade when Michelle Gardner showed him her boobs. Alex is grinning at him.

“I'm sorry, Jess, I'm just kidding. I'll let you get dressed. Can't blame me for trying,” Alex says and Jesse could blame him, could blame him for a lot things but he just smiles.

“Insufferable. Go away. Shoo. I have my innocence to protect,” Jesse says and sticks his tongue out at Alex.

Jesse comes out of the bedroom dressed in his favorite pyjamas. They have cats on them and he will not be ashamed, never ashamed and even if Alex cracks up when he sees him, Jesse holds his head up high and sniffs at him. “They were a gift from my grandmother, so your argument is invalid.”

Alex shakes his head and gives Jesse a one-armed hug, kisses his temple. “You're amazing.”

Andrew absolutely beams at them. “Isn't he? I keep telling him, I've kept telling him that for years, but – “

“No ganging up on the unstable cat-pyjama wearing geek or I'll sic my cats on you.”

“Our cats.”

“Well, yes. But the point still stands.”

“No, your point was obliterated. But I love you anyway,” Andrew grins, kissing Jesse and passing him a plate of pancakes. “Eat.”

Jesse takes the plate, pancakes covered in maple syrup, just the right amount and a mug of his favorite tea. Jesse goes sit on the couch, wriggles to get comfortable. Alex comes and sits next to him, stack of pancakes twice the size of Jesse's. Alex shrugs. “I think he thinks I'm an actual giant.”

Jesse grins. “Well, you're a guest, he is Jewish and enjoys mothering people. It's inevitable.”

Andrew gets on the couch, on the other side of Jesse and turns the tv on. The cartoons turn out to be too shrill for any of them and they go for an old Doctor Who repeat, laughing at the ridiculous effects and the plot filled with holes and discrepancies. Jesse makes another pot of tea and pours Alex more coffee. They stay on the couch in an improvised pile, Andrew's legs in Alex's lap and Alex leaning against Jesse. They talk about childhood TV, Alex explaining about Swedish kids' shows in the eighties and it's the first time Jesse thinks about it, their ages and differences in experiences; it makes Jesse ask about politics and it ends in a lot of something Jesse likes to call “mutual liberal flailing”.

They spend the whole morning on the couch, flipping channels and talking. It's Andrew's turn with the newspaper and he's looking at the arts section.

“There's a couple of galleries we wanted to go this weekend. You wanna join us, Alex?” Andrew drops the newspaper on the table and sets his mug down.

Alex shrugs, smiling. “Why not? I mean, I'm clearly sticking around. You'll just have to kick me out when you wanna get rid of me, you know that, right?” Alex looks at Andrew and then Jesse, like he's making sure he's still welcome.

Jesse's a little speechless, then, because things are so comfortable and easy and he hadn't even thought about Alex eventually leaving. “Well. As long as I don't wake up with you standing by my bed staring at me while I'm sleeping.”

Alex grins. “No, I'll just be in your bed.”

Andrew laughs. “We should drop by your hotel, get you some clothes – Jess, do you realize that this is how – “

“ – we've ended up adopting all the cats? Yes, the, uh, the parallels weren't lost to me.”

Alex tilts his head back, laughing. “I'm a cat, now?”

“More like giant albino panther,” Andrew says.

“Who you calling an albino, supernatural hair boy?”

“Oh, you're so on – “ Andrew launches himself at Alex, tickling him but Alex has six inches and tens of pounds on Andrew and Andrew ends up under Alex howling for mercy, laughing so hard he's crying. “Help, Jesse, you gotta help me!”

“Say uncle! Say uncle and I'll stop.”

Jesse just laughs. “Oh, you're on your own, honey, sorry.”

“Say uncle – why would anyone say uncle, seriously, what is that even about. Tell me you adore me and I'll stop right then!”

Andrew's trying to squirm away but Alex stops him, making Andrew yelp. “Never! Never, you lunatic, you fiddly fingered lunati – oh my god, stop, stop stop stop, I adore you, okay, you're the best thing since hamburgers and Jesse Eisenberg!”

Alex relents and stops tickling him, laughing. “See, that wasn't so hard, was it?” He helps Andrew sit up but Andrew flinches and bats his hands away, scooting into Jesse's lap and burrowing against him.

“Don't let him get to me, Jesse,” Andrew hiccups, still laughing.

Jesse grins, petting Andrew's hair. “In all honesty, if he went after you, I don't think I'd be much of a match. But I promise the cats will protect you.”

As if on cue, Anderson jumps up on the table, looking at them, clearly evaluating the situation for a moment and then jumps into Alex's lap.

Andrew buries his face in Jesse's neck, laughing silently, while Alex smugly pets Anderson and grins at Jesse.

Jesse sighs. “Life hates me.”

10.

The day, despite its nice beginning, turns out rainy and gray and windy. They end up seeing all the exhibitions they were planning to see, Alex attentive and poignant in his remarks about the artwork. They go to a small, quiet café for lunch and then Andrew drags them to a ridiculous performance art piece that's so bad Jesse's worried he's spraining his eyes with the effort to not roll them. Alex glances at him and ducks his head, hiding his little laugh into a cough. Andrew glances at Alex and nudges him who grins and shrugs ever so slightly. Andrew sighs and looks over at Jesse, who tries to look innocent.

They get out of the theatre and it's getting dark outside. The first chuckle from Alex sets them all off and they spend the walk to the subway and the subway ride to Alex's hotel reciting ridiculous lines and re-enacting poses from the performance to each to each other. Alex's laugh is a deep, joyous sound. He laughs with his whole body and Jesse smiles, smiles so wide because it feels like not much can be wrong in the world if there is tenth of the joy in others that there is in Alex.

Alex brings them to his rented hotel room. It's nice and clean and completely lacking in personality. It's not meant to be home, and Jesse bites his lip. He knows Alex lives in Los Angeles, that he has his own house and life there, but he refuses to the think about it now. It's a Saturday night, he has Andrew and they have Alex with them, and that's good for now. Alex collects his things in a small bag, slipping in his iPad as well and checks messages left at the hotel. The visit takes five minutes and Alex seems more relaxed after, walking on the street with his arm thrown around Jesse's shoulders. They all know there'll be pictures of them everywhere tomorrow.

They take the subway to Jesse and Andrew's neighborhood and they wander, without hurry, back to the apartment. The cats are hungry and demand to be fed at once and Alex claims he stinks and goes take a shower. Andrew is in the kitchen, getting out the food and making tea and on a flim, Jesse goes and lights the candles in all the cat-proofed spots he can find. It's a little chilly in the apartment and Jesse closes the windows. Alex comes out of the shower, wearing just a towel to get a glass of water from the kitchen. Jesse looks, can't help it because Alex is beautiful and strong and intimidating. He glances at Andrew who's looking too, even more openly, not even trying to hide his appreciation.

Alex looks at them and finishes his water. “...what?” He sounds unsure and self-conscious. “Do I – did I cut myself shaving or what?”

Jesse coughs. Andrew shakes his head slowly. “No, no. You're good. Fine, even. Sorry.”

Alex looks at them suspiciously. “Okay. I'm gonna get dressed,” he says before he stops in his tracks. “Christ, I'm sorry, I didn't even think. I'm usually not this rude, guys, walking around half-naked in other people's houses. It's. Sorry.”

Andrew waves his hand at Alex and Jesse snorts. “Please. It's fine, seriously, make yourself at home. We honestly don't mind,” Andrew says, back turned to Alex. Jesse can see he's blushing.

“You sure? I mean, I still forget that I'm not back home where – I'm just going to get my clothes on and explain later,” Alex grins, cheeks flushes and wet hair sticking up in all directions and goes in the guest bedroom.

“Are you going to faint?” Jesse murmurs to Andrew. “Am I going to need to get the smelling salt? You were swooning quite dangerously.”

Andrew smacks his arm. “Shut up. Your mouth was hanging open like a dog's, just remember that.”

“Comparing me to a dog is clearly the meanest thing you've ever said to me, Andrew.”

Andrew hops to sit on the kitchen counter and gestures Jesse closer. “C'mere, I'll make it up to you.”

Jesse steps into the v of Andrew's legs and wraps his arms around Andrew's torso, forehead touching Andrew's. Andrew nudges Jesse's nose with his. “Hello. I love you, you beautiful person.”

Jesse smiles and kisses Andrew slow and gentle, spending his time tasting him. They press closer together and Andrew tugs Jesse tighter against him, wrapping his long, slender legs around Jesse's waist. Jesse nips Andrew's lower lip lightly and Andrew hums in the kiss, licking into Jesse's mouth, slow and sensual. Andrew slides his hands under Jesse shirt and Jesse's almost ready to let him pull of him, but then he remembers they're not alone and pulls back, breathless and a little turned on. If he's honest, he's a little turned on most of them time Andrew is this close to him. Jesse doesn't mind, though.

Andrew gives him another small, lingering kiss and then he's pulling back, looking past Jesse shoulder, grinning apologetically. “Sorry. Almost got a little carried away there.”

Jesse turns to look and Alex is standing there, smiling, shaking his head. “No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't. Be here messing with your time together, I'm sure you don't have too much of it.”

“But we invited you. Your logic makes no sense,” Andrew grins, sliding off the counter slowly, body still pressed against Jesse's and Jesse has to bite his lip, presses a soft kiss on Andrew's neck, which is evil of him. Neck kisses are like kryptonite to Andrew's coherency and Jesse feels Andrew swoon a little.

“Well, not really, but thank you. Do you guys want some privacy? I can, like, go to my room and – my room, I mean, the guest room, and put headphones on or something?”

Andrew shushes him. “Shut up, honestly. We decided on dinner on the couch with movies and books and getting drunk on all the wine we have and we're sticking to that.”

Alex raises his hands as a sign of surrender, laughing. “Okay, okay. Food and wine and movies. Sounds great.”

Jesse smiles, still hugging Andrew but reluctantly letting go. “Fantastic, even.”

11.

They end up in a freeform pile on the couch again, and Alex knows intuitively how to touch people, Jesse thinks, because he would be purring if he was capable of that. Alex's fingers are petting the nape of Andrew's neck and his other hand is in Jesse's hair. Alex seems unaware of what he's doing, watching the movie and Jesse tries to concentrate on his book but fails. He sets his book down and snuggles closer and Alex's hand follows, drawing soft circles on his scalp, above his ear, and it's so comfortable and relaxing that Jesse turns his head and nuzzles the closest part of Alex a little, as a thank you. Alex turns to look at him, absent smile on his face before turning back to the movie.

Andrew's looking at him, though, eyes slitted and a small smile on his face. It feels meaningful somehow, so Jesse reaches for him and Andrew stretches to take Jesse's hand.

“Am I in the way?” Alex's voice is quiet and sweet. Jesse shakes his head.

“No. Are you comfortable?” Andrew asks, shifting a little but not letting go of Jesse's hand.

“I'm fine, considering I have two men and two cats lying on me.”

Jesse snuggles in closer, two glasses of red wine already done the damage and Andrew climbs half on top of Alex who's laughing. “So we're forgetting about the movie, then? Pile up time? The movie sucks anyway.”

Andrew sighs happily. “I'd rather just talk with you two. It feels like there's never enough time to just sit and talk, y'know.”

“You're right. Everything always has to be a big number. I have an hour there, let's do lunch, I can have dinner with you on Friday four weeks from now. Fuck that. This is what life's about, what we're doing right now, not about parties and being busy for the sake of being busy.” Alex pauses. “Sorry. I get a little fed up with people and the stories they tell each other sometimes. Blame the red wine.”

Andrew lifts his head, looking at Alex. “I think I love you. No, honestly, dude, I'm not even – Jesse and I have friends, right, we have families who we love, it's not that, but I love it when we find friends together, people who we both are comfortable with, without having to pretend or explain.”

Alex nods. “I have buddies, too, especially the ones back home and in LA – here, too, but it's always fun to find people you like. You two are very likeable with your friendly faces and insane hair,” Alex says, grinning. “And seriously, if we're gonna get all weepy and clingy, I expect to get some whiskey or something out of this.”

Jesse shakes his head. “We drink red wine and read Proust by candle light and have conversations about the modern versus the abstract in bed and speak in pantomimes when we feel words are inadequate. Like we'd have whiskey.”

Alex tilts his head back, laughing. “You're such a weirdo.”

“Good thing you're not normal either.”

They stay on the couch for hours, until the candles have mostly burned out and it's the early hours of the morning. Andrew has fallen quiet against Alex, not quite asleep, just resting and listening to Jesse and Alex still talking quietly. Alex talks about his family and his ex-girlfriends, his friendship with Stark and Michael and Jesse nods, tells about his childhood and his work and his anxiety and it feels like he's found someone who understands because Alex has left the business once, only to come back and make it his instead of being a pawn. Jesse likes that, it makes him respect Alex even more.

They finish the second bottle of wine and Jesse sits up a bit, still leaning against Alex, looking at his profile and following the line of his arm to where his hand rests on Andrew's neck, still petting gently. Andrew sighs, shifting closer to Alex and lifts his head to look at them and smile, clearly ready to fall asleep. Their legs are all tangled and it's so comfortable Jesse's heart aches all of sudden. He looks up at Alex and Alex is looking back at him and the moment is there, Jesse could easily reach and kiss Alex because of the way he's looking at Jesse, because he's intelligent and warm and understanding and beautiful.

“You can, Jess, you can if you want to. It's okay, you can.” Andrew whispers, and Jesse wants to, so badly.

Alex tenses a little, mouth a little open. He pulls Jesse closer, Jesse's forehead resting against Alex's. “I can't. Or, it's. I can, and I want to, I really want to, guys, but this is the last thing I want to do when we're all drunk. Please, just. Give it time?” Alex whispers and Jesse's sees Andrew nodding, sitting up a little. Andrew brushes his lips against Alex's cheek and tilts Jesse's head up, kisses him firmly.

“The two of us, we won't ever hurt each other, right? We won't. Jesse and I love each other, but. It's going to be alright, everyone's going to be alright, yeah?” Andrew's whispering and Jesse has never been more in love with Andrew, ever. Alex nods and tugs Andrew closer, gently pressing their cheeks together, holding on to the both of them.

They sit in silence for a while before Alex yawns quietly. “We should get to bed.”

Jesse nods and they untangle carefully, Jesse checking twice whether all the candles are out and feeding the cats while Alex and Andrew take turns in the bathroom. He checks the door and the kitchen before slipping in the bathroom. When he comes out, Andrew and Alex are hugging in the hallway, Andrew's face in a soft half-smile and Jesse's heart jumps a little from joy because he's terrified to go at this alone, he just wants Andrew to understand, he wants Andrew there with at every step, each important moment.

Andrew pulls away and kisses Alex's cheek, the corner of his mouth, lingering, before going into the bedroom. Jesse walks up to Alex and looks at him and offers his hand. Alex stares at it, dumbfounded for a moment, before he cracks up and pulls Jesse against him. “You're seriously such a weirdo.” Alex kisses the shell of his ear and his cheek and almost Jesse's mouth, almost. Jesse's breath hitches and he lets it out in a long careful breath. “Slow, yeah?”

Alex nods and Jesse nods back, petting Alex's shoulder before kissing his cheek once more. “Good night.”

The doors stay open all night. Jesse sleeps, waking up here and there, sure he'll find the guest bedroom empty when he'll wake up in the morning.

12.

The guest room is empty in the morning, but only because Alex is in the kitchen making breakfast. Jesse closes the bedroom door carefully so Andrew gets to sleep in for once. He picks Copernicus up, nuzzling the cat's cheek and the car purrs so loudly in his arms Jesse chuckles.

Alex turns to look at who's coming and smiles widely, looking like he's genuinely happy to see Jesse.

“Good morning.” Alex walks up to them and pets Copernicus, leans to kiss Jesse's cheek gently, smelling like fresh bread and faintly of fruit. “Hi, Cope. Dad can pick you but I can't, huh? I see how it goes.”

Jesse smiles, leans up to kiss Alex's cheek again just because he can. “Don't charm all my cats away from me. I'm hurt enough by the fact that Mr. Cooper barely looks at me.” This is when Copernicus decides he wants to climb up to Jesse's shoulder to make friends with Alex.

Alex picks the cat up gently, petting him but looking at Jesse and it makes Jesse blush. “I know, I have drool on my face and my hair looks like Sideshow Bob's. I believe the expression I'm looking for is, don't be a hater.”

Alex laughs, setting the cat down and hugging Jesse. “Where the fuck did you come from? Mars?”

Jesse presses into the warmth. He half-steps on Alex's toes to warm up his own. He's always cold in the mornings. “East Brunswick, actually.”

“Are you unfamiliar with the concept of socks, Freezer Boy? God.”

“Sorry. There are apparently more important places for my blood to go to in the mornings.”

Alex pulls back, grin widening slowly. “Really? You've got to show me some time.”

Jesse rolls his eyes. “Maybe I'll even let you feel them.” He pauses. “My armpits are quite nice and warm even this early in the morning.”

Alex laughs and he kisses Jesse's cheek and ear and forehead and Jesse wants to kiss him so badly, but he can't, something is stopping him and he sighs.

Alex smiles. “I'm making breakfast, it's almost done. Do you wanna wake him up?”

Jesse thinks about it for a while. “We could take breakfast to bed for him. And us, actually, I'll tolerate crumbs for you two.”

“I'm honored. You make the tea, I didn't know what you like in the mornings.”

They carefully carry the trays of food in the bedroom, setting them on empty chairs next to the bed and Alex slips out to use the bathroom. Jesse slides back into bed with Andrew who turns and snuggles closer. Jesse kisses his eyelids softly, nuzzles his nose against Andrew's. Andrew sighs, shifting closer, eyes opening slowly.

“Hey, babe. Good morning. There's breakfast.” Jesse traces his fingers along Andrew's arm, slowly petting the inside of his wrist with his knuckles. Andrew shivers and presses closer, licking his lips.

“ – want you more,” Andrew murmurs, kissing Jesse with slow heat and intent, whispering into the kiss. “Where's Alex?”

Jesse kisses Andrew softly, following the line of his jaw down to his neck and Andrew arches against him, breath stuttering a little.

“He's in the bathroom,” Jesse says. “He made us breakfast.”

Andrew nuzzles into another slow, deep kiss, breathes against Jesse's lips. “Dreamt about you last night. Woke up feeling your hands all over me. Almost woke you up, I was so hard.”

Jesse's breath catches and he shivers, lips ghosting against Andrew's. “Why didn't you?”

“You were sleeping so peacefully, I couldn't do it. God, Jesse, it was so sexy, we were outside and the sun was shining and your hands – “ Andrew shudders when Jesse slides his hand down, Andrew hard and straining against the fabric of his underwear.

“God, Andrew, how are you this – want to touch you everywhere, kiss and taste you, fuck you – “ Jesse whispers in Andrew's mouth before Andrew moans quietly and rolls them over, straddling Jesse's hips, leaning down to devour him in a kiss.

“Want you so much, Jesse, I can't – everything about you drives me fucking crazy. And there's been so much tension, Jesse, so much – “ Andrew shudders a little, kissing Jesse again and then he whispers in Jesse's ear. “Do you want Alex to watch us, Jess? So he'll see how we are together? I want – I want him to touch you, I want everything, please tell me you understand.”

Jesse's head is spinning, from the ideas and images in his head. He arches against Andrew's hips, suddenly over-sensitized, feeling like he could come from just the thoughts. “God, Andrew, everything, I want you to have everything, I want so much.” Jesse moans quietly into the harsh kiss they share and then Alex walks in.

He's in the middle of a sentence, smiling, but stops in his track and starts retreating right away. “Fuck, fuckfuckfuck, sorry, guys, sorry – “

Andrew shifts a little, face flushes and lips red from the kisses and twists to protest, reaching out. “Alex, no, please.” Andrew's breath is a little erratic but he's shifting so Jesse can sit up a little. Alex's face is blank, tiny splotches of red high on his cheeks.

Jesse nods carefully, voice hoarse. “Please?”

Jesse can see the thoughts going through Alex's head. He hesitates and stops to think, looking at both of them and finally, after what feels like a small lifetime, Alex swallows and crosses the room slowly, standing at the edge of the big bed.

Andrew pulls the covers back, inviting Alex in and he slips under the duvet, on his side, resting his head against his palm, looking at Jesse and Andrew. He reaches, carefully, to smooth a hand down Andrew's arm. Jesse reaches, touching Alex's chest, wanting to be grounded by the touch.

“We. Do you want to see us, first?” Jesse whispers. “I don't, we don't just want want you here because – “

Alex lifts his hand and presses two fingers against Jesse's mouth to shush him, shaking his head. “I get it. I do, and I'm right here, alright?”

Andrew's nodding, leaning down to kiss Jesse's neck softly, whispering. “Alright.” Andrew presses his hips tighter against Jesse's hips and Jesse has to gasp. Alex rubs his fingertips lightly against Jesse's lips before pulling his hand away.

“I just want to see you. You're so beautiful, both of you.”

Andrew makes a small sound and reaches for him, tangles his fingers with Alex's for a moment. Jesse looks at their hands and Alex's face and then has to close his eyes because Andrew is slipping down, kissing his chest, hot mouth against Jesse's stomach and on his hip bones. Jesse spreads his legs instinctively and tries to open his eyes to see what Andrew is doing but then Andrew's mouth is on him and all thoughts are lost. He can hear himself, high-pitched quiet whine because Andrew's mouth is brilliant, it's absolutely amazing. Andrew licks along his length and sucks the tip in his mouth, soft tongue rubbing against the sweetest spots.

Jesse tries to relax, fights against the urge to move into the heat. Andrew's hands are rubbing his thighs and hips. It startles him a little when he feels a hand on his chest and he looks at Alex who's stroking his chest slowly, thumb rubbing Jesse's nipple slowly, pinching lightly and the extra stimulation makes him arch into the points of contact, Alex's hand, Andrew's mouth. Alex shifts abruptly and then they're kissing, finally, slow and deep and perfect. Jesse whines into the kiss, lifting his hand and slipping it into Alex's hair. Andrew sucks harder, humming against Jesse's cock and it's almost too much; he pulls Andrew away from him and tries to tug him up.

Andrew licks him, slowly, before sliding up the bed and kissing Jesse hard. Jesse reaches down and shifts to take them both in his hands. They're hot against his hand, Andrew's spit slicking things between them and Jesse can't stop shuddering. Andrew moans quietly against Jesse's mouth. Andrew pulls back and Jesse opens his eyes and sees Alex and Andrew kissing, and Jesse's brain circuits out because Alex can taste him in Andrew's kiss and then he's arching into Andrew and coming so hard he can't breathe for a while. Andrew's still moving against him, slowly tensing up and after a while he shakes hard and comes in hot streaks against Jesse's stomach.

Jesse wraps his arms around Andrew and kisses him, soft, slow, taking his time to soothe him. He turns his head and Alex is pulling back. He gets tugged back in the embrace by both Jesse and Andrew and Andrew kisses him, humming happily.

Jesse leans back and closes his eyes, a little overwhelmed, and Andrew and Alex settle around him, barely leaving an inch of him bare, vulnerable to the world. They're quiet for a long time, and Jesse seeks Alex's hand out, holds on tightly. After a while, Andrew shifts and Jesse realizes they're sticking together.

“Gross.” Andrew's grinning at him. “Except totally not.”

Jesse shakes his head, kisses Andrew. “I'll get up. Make new tea. Stay there. Don't move.”

Andrew nods. “Yes, sir.”

Jesse almost slips out of bed before he turns around to look at Alex. “Oh. I can. This is alright now. Right.” He leans in and Alex meets him half-way and Jesse gives the kiss his all, makes it deep and sensual and then he forgets about what he wants to say with his kiss and it gets real, so real that the air gets punched out of him, Alex is there, hot and big and it's so incredibly arousing.

Andrew presses against Jesse's back, nuzzling Jesse's neck, whispers. “God, you're both so gorgeous.”

Alex moans quietly and pulls back, breathless, nuzzling Jesse, leaning over him to kiss Andrew, lingering. “Shut up, I can't even listen to you or I'll come in my fucking pants. Jesus, watching you guys is like looking into the sun for too long.”

Jesse's pressed against Alex and he can't stop kissing his skin and then he's shifting, pushing Alex and it's a tangle of limbs and sheets and they're all laughing, trying to configure themselves on the bed. But Jesse gets where he wants to be, straddling Alex's hips, suddenly not self-conscious at all about being completely naked in front of him.

Alex looks up at him, flushed and grinning, and Jesse kisses Alex, slowly leaving a trail of kisses on his neck and torso, tentatively flicking out his tongue against Alex's nipple. Alex lets out a wavering sigh and Jesse kisses down his chest and stomach, pushing Alex's underwear out of the way, letting himself taste Alex as soon as he can reach. Alex moans lowly and Jesse shifts, taking more of him into his mouth; Alex is hard against his lips and tongue, skin soft and Jesse sucks, slowly and carefully, enjoying the feel of power that comes along with it.

It doesn't take Alex long to beg Jesse to move faster, harder, when Jesse wraps his hand around the base and strokes firmly, licking in strong, wide swipes across the tip of Alex's cock. Alex warns Jesse, twitching harshly under him and Jesse pulls back, sliding up Alex's body to watch Andrew kiss him and then Alex comes with a loud moan, back arching off the bed from the force of his climax. Jesse strokes him slowly until Alex shies away from his touch.

Andrew's almost as breathless as Jesse and Alex are. He picks up Jesse's forgotten t-shirt from the back of the bed and wipes Alex clean, carefully. Jesse shudders, buries his face in Alex's neck.

“That's my favorite shirt, Andrew, I can't believe you're doing that with my favorite shirt, how am I ever going to be able to wear it again without getting charged for public indecency?” Jesse moans, almost managing to sound mournful. Andrew laughs and throws the t-shirt towards Jesse. It would be hot, it would be so incredibly sexy if the shirt didn't land on Jesse's face, wet spot and all, if it wasn't gross and strangely hilarious. Alex is laughing when he throws the shirt away, wiping at Jesse's forehead with his hand. The t-shirt lands inches away from the other breakfast tray, for which Jesse is forever grateful.

13.

A few weeks later the shoot is over, the after party is over, the last weekend is over and Alex is going back home. He refuses to let them come see him off at the airport, claiming to be really bad at goodbyes. He leaves in the early hours of Tuesday, the last possible moment before he has to be back in LA, before he has to go back to his life. Andrew clings on to Alex and Jesse not sure they'll be physically able to let him go.

Alex has grown into their lives in such a short time Jesse's not surprised about the ache in his chest, the dull throb behind his eyes. They haven't fooled themselves into thinking their time is limitless but it's still hard to actively let go. Alex hugs them and kisses them and they huddle up in the dark hallway. No last minute promises aren't made, there is no desperation in their goodbye but when Alex goes, closing the door after himself, Jesse can see Andrew's tears, and he knows he'll never forgive himself.

Things go back to normal slowly and Jesse finds himself pulling away from Andrew who fights it tooth and nail. Alex's things are still around the apartment; they can't take Alex's pillow off the bed and it's there, Alex's smell fading off in a few days. Alex has taken things with him even without asking; Jesse sees photos of Alex on the cover of some magazine, he's wearing Jesse's scarf and Andrew's braided bracelet and it stings as much as it helps.

They call and e-mail and Jesse even says yes to Skype even if it makes me him horrendously self-conscious. Andrew's beaming, though, and it's worth it. They never ask about visiting and Alex doesn't talk about coming back. They have separate lives and this is how it has to go, Jesse thinks, only it's terrible and unfair and stupid. He wants them back together, he wants to see if the friendship and infatuation and affection and lust will turn into something more solid, more serious. Andrew says so out loud, the only one of them who has the guts to do so, but it doesn't change anything.

Months pass. They still talk, almost every day when they aren't at work, but it's getting more impersonal, more detached and Jesse starts thinking maybe it was all an illusion, a thing coming to life out of strange circumstances no one had control over. It's not a regret at all, more a pleasant, melancholic memory, the kind Jesse's always wanted to have instead of the aching wounds he seems to carry. He's almost given up, almost filed everything under the category of things past, but Andrew wakes him up one night, from deep sleep and whispers to him in desperate tones, “Don't you realize, we have to go to him, he chose us but we have to choose him, Jesse, I can't deal with this anymore,” and Jesse breaks, once and for all.

It takes them a few days to get there but when Alex opens the door, he comes to a complete stop in front of them. It's warm and humid outside, pitch black dark and Jesse waves his free hand, the other one held sickeningly tight by Andrew.

“Hi,” Andrew says, breath cut off like he wants to say so much more but decides against it.

Alex looks at them, eyes wide, mouth a little open from shock, before he throws himself at them, wrapping his arms around both of them, shaking and still speechless. Jesse clings on. Alex is so solid against them, not a memory any more, and Jesse feels stronger and more powerful than in a long time. He seeks out Alex's mouth, kisses him lightly, repeatedly before giving space to Andrew who makes a heartbreakingly happy noise against Alex's mouth, smiling into the kiss.

They don't stop to speak until much later, lying in a tangled heap in Alex's huge bed. Andrew is talking quietly, making Alex laugh, and Alex's hand on Jesse's hip, petting slowly, almost ticklish if not so wonderfully good. This is not a permanent solution, Jesse thinks, it's not an answer to all; they still have so many obstacles, so many traps to fall into, but this, this is a brilliant start.


End file.
